And then the keyhole that is language - a metaphor the wise man (Dr. Randy Bomer) imparted to us - through which all of you must press yourselves if you wish to be clear, to be very clear and understood and significant, the pursuit of all who admire celebrity because they'd like it (but at what cost?). All the vast ocean of ideas and worries and potential and reality must be funneled through it. A tight fit. Things get stuck. And my friend, Jantzen, asked me how to make the keyhole bigger. And that was the perfect question. I don't know the answer, but I can make some stabs at it: I can listen. Really listen. Be present. Be a soul mirror. Be open. And other things I don't know now. And remind them (and myself) that the shitty things that come out when you have a larger keyhole (which Anne Lamott thought of before me) are not permanent; like a relationship, they are meant to be borne, to be sorted through and understood and perfected. Then we can have a conversation about whether or not what is there is what they meant to say. And we begin again. Praise God for revision.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Revealing
So. I spent most of today listening to the experiences and postulations and musings of someone who reached me, who changed my point of view, who made the top come off my head. About how people believe in the written word, how it not only allows them to put aside their problems because it requires attention when they read, but that it might grant one the opportunity to sort, to reconcile, to heal when they write. How lovers emerge from prose, incubated in the complex, delicate strands of a sentence. How treaties and constitutions have been wrought, families broken and mended, lives exalted and deprecated. How a boy with hair in his eyes sits in a ray of sunlight in my classroom, making sense of the world with his poetic torch lit and held aloft before him, simultaneously illumining the depths and creating shadows that creep after him relentlessly. His sentence is unfinished...but I know he has no need to seek the villains outside himself, because it always comes down to man vs. himself. To quote Joni Mitchell, in the end, "it all comes down to you."
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2 comments:
Hi Ms. Iskra! (I somehow feel like I should be opening this comment with a handshake haha...it only seems natural.)
1. How often do you write? When you do, what are your purposes?
I would say i write, for personal purposes at least, weekly. Usually it serves as an outlet of everything that weighs down on me whether it be personal criticism, amusing stories of what has happened recently, social commentary, or other random epiphanies/thoughts. I keep a sketch diary in which i write down little paragraphs or sometimes just sentences accompanied with sketches of it or representative of it. Its a good way to throw everything that's been crippling my mind out in the open and to begin to sort it all out to mean something so that I can be happier with myself or others, or just find a better way to tell a story. It's also a good way to find my standing on issues. Otherwise, it's a daily event through school affairs. Purpose? Don't fail.
2. What is your attitude toward writing? Do you ever do it because you want to?
I suppose I partially answered this question with the former one. My attitude towards writing when I choose to do it is often one of relief as I've already sort of stated. However, in academic situations, my attitude is one of frustration. I often have thoughts on a topic, however, fitting them into the rules that accompany a form of writing becomes difficult. I'm very specific about the way the things I write should sound, and often have perfectly phrased phrases however I don't have sentences or paragraphs or stanzas or anything. I suppose ideally, I could just write strings of thoughts and phrases which all come from a single motivation, however move towards no single directon. Another frustration is that (especially in analysis)reaching that final enlightened conclusion never quite happens for me. I always feel so close, but not quite there. It teases me. I've always figured that finding it comes with experience with writing and thinking, but I also feel like I should be better at it by now than where I am.
3. When you do write, how satisfied are you with what you are able to express (usually, often, sometimes, not usually, never)? What, do you think, contributes to your level of satisfaction?
I would say I'm satisfied somewhere between often and sometimes. Closer to sometimes. Satsifaction in writing is reading something I've written and being able to hear myself in it. If what I've written mirrors exactly how it sounds in my head, then I'm pretty satisfied. However, not reaching that final point, as previously mentioned, can often detract from my satisfaction.
4. How concerned are you with others reading your writing (very, somewhat, not really, not at all)?
not really. I'm pretty open about my thoughts, views, and criticisms so I don't really shy away from others reading my writing. I've also determined that there's no point in trying to look better than I may be in academics so I'm not too terribly worried about what people will think of my intellect with my poor writing. Also, I tend to have problems speaking eloquently verbally, so putting it all down on paper helps say what I mean better.
5. If you considered yourself a good writer, would you write more?
Of course. There isnt a feeling I love more than that feeling of being proud of myself. If I were able to write and be consistently proud of myself, I would write more. Also, if others truly enjoyed hearing/reading my writing, I would write to please others. I mean who doesn't like to make others happy?
6. If you had an opportunity to improve your writing, what specifically would you request help with?
I would request to get help with fully developing one single idea. I'm good at creating wide, shallow, pools of thought, but haven't quite made it to the narrow, deep pool yet. I need to learn how explore all the aspects of ONE thought and to get to that final conclusion.
7. What advice about teaching would you give someone trying to help you learn?
Lead me, but do not show me. That thought process that accompanies writing is something that is equally important to what's on the page and it's something I haven't quite mastered. Along with that, being patient is key. I'm a slow processor when I'm given information.
I hope this all helps!
Best wishes!
Hello, Ms. Iskra. Finally got around to your blog and felt that I could contribute, so here goes.
1. How often do you write? When you do, what are your purposes?
I write whenever I fancy writing, which unfortunately is not as often as I would like. I'm trying to get back into the habit of it, but lately I've been writing about once a week. My purposes are strictly for pleasure and the enhancement of my creative muscles, so I write whatever I feel like writing and try to do it well.
2. What is your attitude toward writing? Do you ever do it because you want to?
I really enjoy writing. I always do it because I want to do it, I have a hard time writing when I don't want to. The words just don't come out the same and it usually is unpleasant.
3. When you do write, how satisfied are you with what you are able to express (usually, often, sometimes, not usually, never)? What, do you think, contributes to your level of satisfaction?
Hmm. It really depends on what I'm writing. There have been times where I've written something for a contest or using a scenario that someone else has created and I've actually disliked what I wrote but I haven't had anything like that happen in a while. Sometimes just the fact that I can get something down on paper with a plot or meaning is satisfying to me.
4. How concerned are you with others reading your writing (very, somewhat, not really, not at all)?
Not at all. I'm open to criticism, it is, after all, how you get better. I was published in the literary magazine, and it wasn't really a big deal. I'm not concerned with getting people to read my stuff, either. Whether they do or don't isn't really an issue to me at the moment, as I really just do it for myself. If there ever comes a time where I get paid to write, well, I'll start worrying about it then.
5. If you considered yourself a good writer, would you write more?
I think that if I thought that I was a good writer (and good as in great, and not just decent) I would feel that I was putting my talents to waste by not writing, so certainly. I would definitely write more the better I thought of my writing skills.
6. If you had an opportunity to improve your writing, what specifically would you request help with?
Hmm. At the moment my biggest issue is my brevity. I tend to be very concise with my essays and rush through them, I think it would help if I added a bit more detail.
7. What advice about teaching would you give someone trying to help you learn?
Be a friend! I'm infinitely more likely to listen and really try to comprehend the things being taught by someone with a pleasant disposition and a desire to be a friend than just simply a teacher. The mind can wander, otherwise...
I can't think of anything else but if I do I'll be sure to add at a later date.
Hope you're doing well.
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